Scarring Jasmine-Chapter Forty Three Reunion

01/03/2025 Friday 30-38F Cloudy

In an office building at the bund, a young man was buried on his desk, busy drawing. Then another man in a linen suit came in, with a woman on his arm. 

“I have a party to go to with my wife this afternoon,” the linen suit man sat on the armchair opposite that young man, stabbed his cigarette out in an ashtray, “are you ok to finish that architectural sketch alone?” 

The young man went on with his work, but answered, “Yes of course. Don’t worry about me.” 

The woman peeled a mandarin and handed it to that young man, “It is for you. You should take a rest. I wish my husband could be like you; he can never sit in the same place for more than five minutes!” 

That young man finally raised his head, it was a very handsome face. “Thanks for the mandarin Juan, you look great today. I like the black silk dress you are wearing now, especially those little white flowers embroidered on your breastbone—They bring this dress a unique touch. Are they jasmine blossoms?” 

“Good eyes!” The linen suit man praised, “She loves this dress. Two weeks ago, my cigarette accidentally burnt a pea size hole in it. She was very upset. Lucky that later we found a tailor shop who could fix it, and they embroidered three jasmine flowers on it to cover the hole.”

Juan walked closer to that young man, “See what a great job they did! I just picked it up this morning. They told me that they sent this dress to a place in Zhabei district, there an embroidery lady from Suzhou was good at repairing this kind of damage. You are from Suzhou as well; tell me what you think of this embroidery?”

The young man examined the flowers on her dress interestedly, then spoke: “I like it very much. Could you please tell me the address of the tailor shop to which you sent this dress? Perhaps they can help me with something else.” 

“Of course,” Juan took a pencil and wrote down an address on paper, “Here you go.”

The linen suit man pinned his hands behind his head, asking, “Yu, I really don’t understand you. You look more interested in the embroidery than women. Tell me, how long haven’t you gone out with a girl? If I could be a bachelor like you, I would hang out every day.” 

Juan prodded his forehead with her finger: “Conghai, you are too much! Not every man is like you. If I could have another chance, I would never marry you!”

The clock chimed twelve. “Ok, we must go now.” Conghai stood up from the armchair and stretched his arms, “Yu, have a good trip tomorrow, see you after two weeks!” 

“Thanks, see you. You have my car key, right?” Yu asked. “Yes of course. As I told you yesterday, I will drive your car to the party. Bye.”

After that couple left the office, Yu took out a handkerchief from his inside pocket—There were three embroidered jasmine flowers on it as well, whose technique was very similar to the ones he just saw on Juan’s dress: They both had white petals on the top and different hues of beige near the core. Yu thought of the memories of Jasmine embroidering at home in the past. “Was that done by her?” He pondered.

More than one year ago, he left a letter to Jasmine’s brother Mumei, asking him to forward it to Jasmine. But after that he never heard any news from her. “Perhaps she is living a happy life now, so she doesn’t want to be disturbed; perhaps she still hates me. I should go to that tailor shop and find out whether that embroidery lady is her or not. Otherwise, I will keep thinking about it.”

He followed the address given by Juan and arrived at a tailor shop. After hearing Yu’s description, the man behind the counter said, “I do remember that dress.” 

“Yes, a slender lady picked it up just a few hours ago. Let me check it.” He opened a book and scanned through its first page, then turned to the second one. “Here it is,” he claimed, “it was done by tailor Zhang. I can give you his address, then you can go there and ask him about that embroidery lady.”

Yu took the address, thanked him, and jumped in a rickshaw heading for tailor Zhang’s place. He was pulled to a noisy messy neighborhood, which made him feel question if he really could find Jasmine in such an area. He paid the rickshaw and entered the shop at the address. In it a man was bending to cut fabric on a large counter; he didn’t see Yu come in.

“Good afternoon sir. May I ask if this is tailor Zhang’s shop?” 

Zhang stopped the scissor in his hand, “Yes mister. I am. What can I do for you?” 

“I have a friend, she fixed her dress in Chenji tailor shop; it was a black silk one with three embroidered jasmine blossoms on it.” Yu showed the embroidery location on his shirt to Zhang, “The way the flowers embroidered was very familiar to me. Chenji said that it was done here, that’s why I came; I would like to know the embroiderer’s name.” 

Zhang smiled, “Coincidentally, her name is Jasmine as well, from Suzhou. Is she the one whom you hoped to see?”

 “Yes, she is!” Yu’s eyes brightened, “Is she here? Can I see her?” 

Zhang perceived Yu’s excitement. He looked about him curiously, then said, “She isn’t here. Right now, she should still be in the market. Let me draw a simple roadmap for you.” He took out a pencil and one sheet of paper, “Here is my shop; from this spot walk up for five blocks, then turn right and walk straight until you see an open-air market. She sells embroidered goods there. Just in case you can’t find her in that place, then please follow this routine to her home which I highlighted with a thicker line.”

Yu thanked Zhang and took the paper. Perhaps because he walked in a great hurry, the same bunch of ragged kids had no chance to perform their brick act, so they all followed him calling noisily from behind: “Mister, your glorious mister, please be kind enough to give us some money! We haven’t eaten anything for three days!” Yu waved his hand and sped up.

He arrived at the market. It wasn’t crowded at all in early afternoon. He walked along the street and checked each booth carefully, then he stopped. On the left side of the street, he caught a woman loading her merchandise into a large bamboo basket; from her profile no doubt that she was Jasmine!

For an instant Yu’s mind became blank. This reunion moment came too soon and too unexpectedly; he had imagined all sorts of occasions on which they two would meet, but the reality was definitely the last one he could have thought about. She had become a street vendor, in this uncouth neighborhood, in this dirty marketplace. Then she turned around to pick up her stool--he saw a pink large scar on her face!

What happened to her? What on earth happened to her? Why was she here? Why did she have that scar?

He walked to Jasmine dreamlike; his face became very pale. Jasmine didn’t notice him at all and continued to pack her little stool on top of the basket. “Jasmine!” Yu called her name in a broken voice. 

She looked up leftward, saw Yu, and was shocked. For a long time, other than gaping at him, she could do nothing else. To her, it was like a dream; the man walking toward her was from her deepest part of a dream. She couldn’t have mistaken his unforgettable face, which had appeared thousands of times in her lonesome nights, at those helpless, fearful, sad moments.  He must be sent by God, who happened to hear her soul’s cry. It was too impossible to be possible, thus she kept the same posture when she lifted her head, gaping at Yu.  

Yu came to her, bent down, and held up her chin: “I finally found you!” Then he gently touched Jasmine’s scar with his left middle finger, from its top to bottom. Both his hands and voice were shaking. “Does this hurt?” 

Jasmine shook her head. Perhaps she realized that it was too embarrassing to let a man hold her face in public, so she said, “Let’s go!”

Yu carried Jasmine’s basket on his arm, and Jasmine took that little stool in her hand to reduce the load for him. Along the way they didn’t speak. Then they arrived at Jasmine’s lodging. Once Yu put down the basket on the floor, he closed the door behind them right away, and embraced Jasmine tightly. Jasmine stood still; after a while she spoke in his ear: “Don’t do that, others can see us from the window!” 

Yu loosened his arms, asked in suspicion: “Are you living with some other man?” 

“No, I am living alone.” Jasmine answered, and went to open the door, “There are always people passing by; it won’t be good for a man and a woman to stay in one room with a closed door.” 

Yu sat on the chair, watching Jasmine fill some water in the kettle and set it on the stove. Then he asked: “What happened to your face?” 

Jasmine’s hand which was reaching out for cup made a sudden shake, as if it had been burnt by his words. “I cut it to disfigure myself, so my husband at that time could release me.” 

They both retreated into silence. Yu looked at the light-yellow widow curtain swaying in the breezes. Sometimes it was spread out a bit, unveiling a large white lotus blossom embroidery. “I left a letter to Mumei a year ago.” His eyes were on the lotus, as if he was talking to it, “did you get it?” 

“Yes, my brother posted it to me last July.” 

“So why didn’t you come to see me? Or write to me?” 

“I burnt it; I didn’t remember the address.” 

“Why, Jasmine?” Finally, he turned his eyes to her, which were full of pain, confusion, and helplessness, “I have been waiting for you. Am I a stranger to you now?” 

Jasmine answered slowly without raising her eyelids: “No, you are not a stranger, you are my first husband. After you, I had another two marriages: One was with an elder man as his concubine, the other one was with a mafia. I smoked opium; I miscarried once; I brought my family trouble. Then I came to Shanghai alone and managed to make a living. I am not that Jasmine whom you remember; Six years ago in my best time, I failed to make you care about me; so what’s the point to see you again with a scarred face? I am like a mirror with a crack.”

Before Yu responded to her, the water boiled up; clouds of steam came from its spout as a sign of warning. Jasmine lifted the kettle to fill the tea pot, then poured some tea from the pot into a cup and laid the cup in front of Yu on the table. After that, she refilled the kettle with cold water, put it back on the stove and shut the vent. 

When Jasmine sat back in her seat, Yu seized her hands. “Jasmine, at that time, I was too proud and naïve; irresponsible and willful. I disdained everyone in my family and considered them my shackles. To get rid of that life, I eagerly took advantage of you to defeat my father. Please forgive me, I was too selfish to consider your feelings and that my decision might harm you. 

After I finally got my dreamed freedom, I went to Beijing, to Guangzhou, then to Shanghai. During that period, all my fascinations and illusions were torn up: I couldn’t find a stable job; what I had learnt from college was useless to most; sometimes I had to work in restaurants as a host. Several times I was thrown out by my landlords because I didn’t have enough money to pay the rent. I almost gave up; I almost prepared to go back home and beg for my father’s pardon. 

I guess I was still lucky—Coincidentally I met an old acquaintance in Shanghai who was willing to offer me a post in his office since my architectural degree interested him. Now when I rewind back to those darkest days, I must admit that the hardship made me grow up, made me realize what real life was, made me not surrender and learn gratitude. 

Then gradually my life was back on the right track: I partnered with one friend to run a design studio; I started to make friends, including several boyfriends and girlfriends…” 

Yu felt a slight twitch come from Jasmine’s fingers while he was saying this, therefore he held her hands even tighter, and proceeded: “yet I still wasn’t happy. It seemed like I had lost all my taste for both men and women. I just kept thinking about you: The tears you shed on our divorce day; the words you spoke to me; the last night’s great joy between us; and all your silent gentleness. In fact, had you called to me that day, I would have crossed the bridge and gone back to you. 

I confess that I was a coward with too much pride--Since you didn’t call I continued, which became a great regret for me. That was why later I collected my courage to see your family and left you that letter. If you were happy, and had someone to take care of you, then I wouldn’t disturb you. However, your current situation isn’t convincing me that you are really happy. I think I should be responsible for where I see you today. I hope I can make it up to you.” 

Jasmine sighed, “Yu, you just saw me today, saw my scar, and my situation. You don’t need to take any responsibility for them, and I don’t want your sympathy either. What’s in your mind about me, is just an illusion, an old image, a guilty feeling. I am unqualified to give you any forgiveness, but if you persist, I forgive you, unconditionally. Please shake off the past and leave me alone, which will be the best conclusion for us. I am finally satisfied with who I am now, twenty-eight, divorced, ugly, living on my hands.”

“Jasmine, you don’t understand: Satisfied doesn’t equal to happy. My feeling for you has nothing to do with sympathy and is more than guilt.” He took out the handkerchief from his pocket, “This handkerchief was yours; I forgot to give it back to you in that earring shop. These six years, I kept it with me every day and couldn’t explain why. But fatefully it guided me to find you in this crowded large city; you don’t know how grateful I am!” 

Then he stopped, and told Jasmine the whole story about Juan’s dress, Chenji tailor shop and Zhang’s map. “I am sorry perhaps my emotion scared you, and my mind now is still in a mess. Please allow me some time to get myself sorted out. Tomorrow I will have a business trip which will take me two weeks, until August thirteenth; then I will definitely come to see you the following day and let’s see what we can do for each other. Please do promise me that you will be here waiting for me. Ok?” 

“Ok, I will be here.” Jasmine looked at Yu’s sincere eyes and promised.

Silence fell upon them again. When their emotions retreated, she felt a little shy and embarrassed, and felt a faint flush creeping up her neck. Yu must have perceived her slight changes, so he reached out his hand to brush a lock of hair from her eye and pinned it behind her ear; then he stopped his hand on her face to caress it. “Jasmine, look at me: No matter how many men you ever married, whether your face was cut or not, you will always be the same innocent beautiful lady I married eight years ago. You shouldn’t feel unconfident in yourself.” 

Jasmine fixed her eyes on his, a growing impulse to kiss him had become almost irresistible. But Yu burst out a chuckle first. “Jasmine, please don’t look at me like that. You make me want to do bad things to you.” 

Jasmine smiled too: “After these years without seeing you, I think you have become more handsome.” 

Yu squeezed her hands, “So you should be proud to go out with me. I am hungry; I had neither breakfast nor lunch. Let’s go grab something to eat together.”

At the corner of the street, they found a little noodle booth. Jasmine slowed down. “What’s up?” Yu asked. 

“Do you want to try some Spring noodles? I quite like them.” Jasmine was hesitant to say it.

“Why not? I am sure it will taste like heaven, especially to an empty stomach.”

The booth owner saw them stop, his wrinkled face immediately bloomed out with a big grin: “Hello miss and mister, two bowls of noodles? Sit down please! Give me one minute!” He quickly mopped a small little wood table with his rag and brought out two campstools for them to sit on. After that, he wiped his hands with the rag hanging on his shoulder, grabbed a big handful of fresh noodles, put them into a deep long-handled bamboo colander and blanched them in a large boiling pot. While waiting for the noodles to boil, he took out two bowls, put some lard and soy sauce in each, then poured some boiling water on them with a long ladle from the pot. About one minute later, he took out the bamboo colander, shook it three times to drain off the excess water, and laid the noodles skillfully in those two bowls by using one pair of long chopsticks. At last, he sprinkled some chopped scallion on top. 

“Aha, here are your noodles, enjoy!” The booth owner carried the two bowls to them. 

“Watching him cooking is so entertaining!” Yu praised, “It is like art! I can’t wait to enjoy his noodles!” He picked two pairs of chopsticks from their rest, handed Jasmine one, and began to eat. Jasmine was afraid that he might think this kind of street food was dirty; but he seemed pretty comfortable and finished his in a surprisingly short time. Jasmine offered him more noodles from her bowl. “Jasmine, you are giving me too much. Why didn’t you eat?” He protested. 

“Watching you eating is more entertaining than eating them myself. It is like art!” 

Yu squeezed Jasmine’s cheek, “Don’t steal my words! You can say something far better than mine, such as one block of wood, the nail and the hole.” His eyes twinkled at her, “So is the hole of my nail still in your wood?” 

“Yu, I can’t tell you now.” She stood up, “But I will try to answer it when we meet next time.”

Jasmine paid for the meal, twelve coppers. “Thanks for buying me lunch.” Before the separation, once more, Yu held Jasmine’s hands. “Would you like to go with me? We can dine together tonight. I just don’t want to separate from you. My apartment has two bedrooms; you can stay there if time gets late. My train will leave tomorrow noon.” 

Jasmine blushed. She withdrew her hands from his and turned around, “No Yu, I won’t go. We have agreed that we would see each other on August fourteenth; we shouldn’t do anything further before that day.” 

“Ok Jasmine.” He sounded a little disappointed. “See you then!”

Yu left. Jasmine’s heart became empty, same as how she felt that noon after Yu had passed the stone bridge. She didn’t want to see him go either; she wanted to be with him every minute every second to compensate for her six years’ loss. If he insisted on her going with him, she would give in. But perhaps because the tone of her refusal sounded decisive, perhaps he was also afraid and nervous and wasn’t sure what would happen next, he didn’t insist. 

He left; she felt empty and lonely. Two weeks, it would be a long long time; it would be like a century for her. She was so fearful that perhaps she would suddenly get old, or he wouldn’t come, or something else would happen to prevent them from seeing each other again. “I can’t live without him.” She murmured, looked up at a little cloud pacing in the southern sky—That was the direction toward which he left.