Scarring Jasmine-Chapter Forty Four Homeward

01/10/2025 Friday 24-37F Mostly Sunny

On August tenth, while Yu was sitting in the lobby talking with his client whose name was Paul, a waiter came and told him that there was a phone call for him.

He picked up the phone at the reception counter. It was from Conghai: “Yu, your mother just telephoned our office. I told her that you were in Nanjing on a business trip, but she insisted on me calling you to forward her words. She said that she just got news from your uncle, the one who worked in the central government, who told her that Shanghai was going to be at war in the coming few days. So she asked you to go straight home at once instead of going back to Shanghai.”

“War? Seriously?” Yu was shocked. 

“Don’t ask me. How can I tell? This morning I didn’t see anything different than usual on my way to the office; and all the newspapers also said nothing about that. I have no idea about your mother’s information source; I just simply forwarded her words to you.”

Yu hung up the phone and returned to his seat. “Is everything all right?” Paul fixed his blue eyes on Yu, asked. 

“Yeah, don’t worry, let’s continue our project.”

Paul was from Britain, representing his boss who wanted to build a hotel in Nanjing. He came to do some investigation first. So far, he had visited six locations accompanied by Yu, and where they were going later that day would be the last one.

On August eleventh, when Yu was still sleeping in his hotel room in early morning, someone rang the door. It was a waiter. “Sorry mister, a gentleman wants to speak to you urgently on the phone; he said that you must answer it right away.” 

Yu was confused. It shouldn’t be Conghai who would never get up that early; so who else could it be? He walked downstairs and took the phone: “Hello, this is Yu speaking.” 

“Your mother wasn’t sure whether your partner had passed her words to you or not, so she asked me to find your hotel telephone number and re-emphasize it to you personally: Either stay in Nanjing in your uncle’s house, or come back to Suzhou today! No Shanghai! No joke either!” 

The phone was slammed down before Yu said a word. It was from his father Wang, to whom he hadn’t spoken for six years but last May astonishingly bought a car for him through his brother-in-law’s friend. He knew that it was his father’s vague yet bold way to apologize, so he accepted it as a sign of the end of his rebellion.  

Wang’s phone call stirred Yu. He waited until eleven o’clock, a sure time for Conghai to be in the office, then dialed the number. The line was busy. Later that afternoon after a meeting with Paul, he called his office again, but still couldn’t get connected. He became worried; while on the other hand he still couldn’t believe that a war would break out in Shanghai—to him, to anyone else, that assumption was too crazy; because if it did happen, the consequences would be disastrous.

On August twelfth at about eleven thirty he re-called his office; the line remained busy. He felt annoyed and redialed, finally this time the call went through. He heard Conghai’s voice. “What the hell are you still doing there?” Yu was angry, “Since yesterday I have called three times but just couldn’t get you.” 

Conghai yelled out on the phone, “I couldn’t get through my phones either. All the lines in Shanghai were busy! Are you clear? God damn it!” 

“Calm down, don’t get into a panic! How is the situation there now?” 

“This morning Juan woke me up, saying that there were a lot of soldiers, not Japanese, but Chinese, outside on the street. I rushed to the window; from there I saw thousands of soldiers passing in line, all wearing formal uniforms and equipped with weapons. Later I went out; on the Huangpu River, suddenly a lot of Japanese warships showed up patrolling around. All the newspapers and broadcast still are keeping mute. It’s tricky! No doubt Shanghai is going to have a war! Without any warning! Fuck this shit! I just bought two ship tickets, Juan and I will stay in Hong Kong for a while. I have left your car key on your desk.” 

“Conghai, listen to me, I need you to do me a favor. I am still in Nanjing, now you are the only one in Shanghai whom I can rely on. I have a friend living in Zhabei, can you go get her and take her to my apartment for me?” 

“I can’t do that! My ship will leave in half hour. I can’t miss it! Do you know how much I spent on these two tickets? Thousands of silver coins! And now even if you want to pay more you can’t get it! I am sorry Yu; I must go now! Good luck!” Conghai hung up the phone.

Yu talked to the man at the reception counter immediately: “Hi, could you please help me book a train ticket to Shanghai today? As early as possible!” 

“Ok sir! No problem.”

About half an hour later, a waiter rang his room. “Sorry mister, the agent just informed us that all the tickets to Shanghai were unavailable; he also couldn’t tell how long this situation would last. He suggested that perhaps you could go to the train station and check in person; sometimes they may reserve a few tickets. I am sorry we can’t help you more; we hope this information will be useful to you.”

Yu went to Paul’s room and rang the bell. Paul’s head peeped out. “Hello Yu, good afternoon! I suppose that we will have a recap meeting at two o’clock. No?” Paul looked annoyed. 

Behind the door on the floor, Yu caught one pair of women’s high heel shoes. “I am sorry, Paul; I have something urgent to do and must leave Nanjing this afternoon. Can we have the meeting right now?” 

Paul shrugged, “It seems that I don’t have any other choice. Fine, wait for me in the meeting room please.”

They cut the meeting short and straight—They selected four locations from all the seven; based on each’s feature, Yu would offer Paul his design concepts as well as estimated cost for review; then if Paul’s boss was interested in moving forward, he would come to Nanjing and meet Yu in person to discuss more details. “I feel awfully sorry that I can’t see you off at the airport. Please forward our regards to Mr. Jones.” Yu apologized before the departure. 

“I will, Yu. Say hi to James. How is he in Shanghai?” James was Conghai’s English name. He was the brother of Yu’s college friend, who got his architectural degree in Britain; and Mr. Jones, Paul’s boss, was one of the friend’s acquaintances. 

Due to his background and social relationships, James partnered with Yu to run this building design office. In the past two years, they had successfully done quite a few good projects. 

“He is ok. He just left Shanghai today for Hong Kong.” 

After Paul left, Yu rushed into his room to get his things packed. Then he checked out, got on a rickshaw, and hurried to the train station.

“Sorry sir, no ticket to Shanghai. Since last night, all the trains between Shanghai and Nanjing have been drafted urgently. We don’t know when we can start to sell tickets. Suggest you either wait, or try some other transportation method.” 

Yu begged, “I really need your help here. Whatever you can do for me to get a ticket, please do it. I am willing to pay more.” 

The ticket seller shook his head, “Did you see that big crowd over there? All of them are waiting for the trains, and most of them actually had bought tickets which we had to cancel upon receiving the draft notice. It will be a waste of time for you trying to get a ticket from us.” He closed his ticket window.

Yu started to get desperate. He must go back to Shanghai; he must see Jasmine; he mustn’t leave her alone there, which would be too dangerous for her.

All of a sudden, an idea struck his mind: Perhaps he could call his father, or uncle for help to get a ticket to Suzhou, pretending that he planned to go home; then once he boarded the train, he would try to manage to get to Shanghai which was the next stop after Suzhou. They worked in the governments; they must have ways to get him on board. Therefore, he went into the ticket office, begged them to let him use their phone. 

“Father, this is Yu. I am going to buy a ticket to Suzhou, but the station told me that they had stopped selling tickets in that direction. Could you please get a ticket for me? I am at Nanjing station right now, in the ticket office.” 

“Ok, wait there!” Wang disconnected.

Yu sat outside the office on a bench. It was four o’clock already; he kept seeing soldiers boarding the trains that later pulled out eastward. If there was a war, it would be a big one. Yu felt anxious; both his hands couldn’t stop shaking. He stood up and paced about with his hands in his pants’ pockets. Everything seemed like in a big drama: All the trains were drafted; he was stuck in Nanjing, one day before his scheduled departure. Two days ago, Conghai questioned his mother’s information source, while today he fled to Hong Kong. So, in this world, whom and what could a man really rely on? Anything could happen any minute! What was the situation in Shanghai now? Did Jasmine know that there would be a war? She must know, at least by word of mouth she must have heard about the soldiers and warships. If so, then what was her choice? To go or to stay? 

If she chose to go, where could she go? There was no train for passengers going out of Shanghai; if she chose to stay but shelter herself somewhere else, then among the millions of people and in the hundreds of square kilometers of land, how, where, and when could he find her? She didn’t have his address. Perhaps she still chose to stay in her place, as she promised to him that she would. Then in that scenario it would be a very bad decision. The area where she lived was close to the Japanese concession; the sooner she left there, the safer she would be. Their agreed date was August Fourteenth; today was August Twelfth, and he even hadn’t gotten a ticket yet!  

Yu became almost desperate. The conflicting thoughts warred within him: For Jasmine’s safety’s sake, he wished that she had left already. But he was also afraid of losing her, and going back to Shanghai in this circumstance seemed unwise for him as well. 

Was it worth his risk? Did he love her? Yu felt a big twitch in his heart. Since he met her thirteen days ago, he had thought about her all the time. Yes, her face was disfigured, but he found something very attractive in her. Each movement, each breath made him fancy that he could see jasmine petals falling from her sleeves, her hair, and her lips. Were they the signs of love? 

Then what was her feeling for him? Why didn’t she want to tell him whether his nail hole was still in her wood or not? Yu sighed—She owed him an answer; and he owed her a promise to fulfill. No matter what-- wars, volcanos, earthquakes, he would go to her place and find out; he would do the best he could in hopes of seeing her; he didn’t want another regret. 

A man pushed the office door open and walked to him, “Are you Yu Wang? Our manager would like to speak with you regarding your ticket.”

Yu followed him and entered a small office. A man in his fifties raised his hat and received him: “Please be seated, my name is Feng. Someone just called me saying that you need a ticket to Suzhou. As you can see, all the trains are being used for the military. I can arrange one seat for you on a train to Shanghai, which will stop in Suzhou as well so you can just get off there. Is it ok for you?” 

“Yes, sounds great, thank you! When will the train leave?” 

“Around eight. It will arrive at Suzhou tomorrow morning six twenty. This is the earliest one I can get for you.” Feng glanced at his watch, “Now it is about five ten, more than two hours to go. You can either wait or leave your luggage here. If you want to make phone calls, you can use this one. Seven thirty I will meet you in this place and take you onto the train.”

The load in Yu’s mind was finally lifted. He thanked Feng, left his luggage there, and walked out. 

Feng appeared in the office exactly at seven thirty. He led Yu to the train, found a seat for him, then saluted: “Please send my greeting to your father!” 

“I will.” Yu bowed to him.

The train was crowded with soldiers. Yu was the only one who didn’t wear an army uniform. No-one spoke to him, nor looked in his direction. Apparently they were soaking in their own world. In some way the soldiers were all very alike: In their twenties, perhaps some even younger; and they all wore the same serious expression. The whole cart was silent. Under their round steel helmets, being dressed in their stiff uniforms, what was in their minds? They were going to the battlefields; they were going to join the war; they were going to protect their land and country; were they afraid? 

Were they afraid of enemy’s bullets, bombs, and sabers? Were they afraid that they might not come back and see their families? Were they in love with their Cinderellas? Were their guns fully loaded and sabers well sharpened? Did they have any regrets? Did their parents know that they were on their way to the front line, using their blood and flesh and youth to challenge the enemy? Of the whole train of soldiers, how many of them would come back safely?

Yu sighed. He came to Shanghai for his lady; they for their country. They were warriors; they were anonymous heroes; they were not tools or machines or just numbers--each of them could talk, laugh, cry; they were someone’s fathers, brothers, sons, and they were knights on horseback.

Yu felt something in his chest. He moved his eyes to the window. Outside was completely dark, no star, no moon; only those soldiers’ silent images reflecting on the glass.

What were our lives for? We were all supposed to be born equal, while there were always some who were more equal than others. Some were born to shed their blood, some were born to eat dirt; while some others were born to enjoy the blood shed by others and the fruit harvested from the dirt. Was this the way life had to be? Or was it decided by the flaws of human nature?

A siren pierced the silence of the night, the train stopped for an emergency. From the window, Yu saw one train from a different direction took his train’s path and pulled out. But after that, his train still didn’t move. Sometime after, there came a second one; then a third one…Yu dozed off.

When he startled awake, the train remained stopped but seemed to be in a different place. And it was dawn. Most of the soldiers kept last night’s posture wearing the same serious look. Their souls must have been withdrawn, because any human being wouldn’t dare take this journey, a journey that had no end!