Reunion With A Swan

09/05/2024 Thursday 51-79F Sunny

A story written by me four years ago 😃

"I never thought that at tonight’s party, I would meet you again.

At this party, I don’t know anyone but the host. The guests all dress expensively and call each other “Excellency”. I am not an “Excellency”, so I seat myself at the corner of the end of the table. I feel a little bit disappointed—this party isn’t my sort. Because of the host’s persistence, I accepted his invitation. But obviously, I shouldn’t have come.

I sit on my seat, fill my cup with some wine. I take a sip—not bad. Then I look around: There are about sixteen guests sitting around this large rectangular wood table, plus the host and myself, eighteen in total. They talk noisily about someone they all know, or about their business; they call each other’s name from one side of the table to the other, excitedly as if they haven’t been together for one hundred years. This is a small town; I am the only passer-by.

I plan to leave after finishing another cup of wine. Then I see my host come in with a woman following him. Her face is familiar to me, but I can’t recall her name. One guest speaks loudly: “Host, who’s this lady? If she is a prostitute, why is there only one? Suppose you want us to share?” Laughter bursts out among the other guests. The host wears a proud smile on his face. He uses his hands to signal everyone to be quiet, then replies: “She is a dancer who came from the capital city. Her name is Yunying. It is my honor to invite her to come here tonight for our party. Let us welcome her!” There is a round of applause. 

“Yunying.” I search for this name in my memory, trying to connect it with someone I used to know twelve years ago when I was in the capital city. I look at her: She wears a polite and professional smile on her face; she bows a bit to the guests, waits until the center of the table is cleared. Then she takes off her shoes, steps on a small wood stool, and by it she stands on the table. The music starts. She follows the melody and starts to dance gracefully; the tips of her fingers make you feel that she is touching something in the air, lazily but beautifully. Yes, that’s her—Yunying, the most famous dancer at that time in the capital city! This dance’s name is called “Surprised Swan”, one of Yunying’s signature dances. 

But why is she here tonight? This town is about eight hundred miles away from the capital city. And as far as I knew in the past, Yunying had never taken any invitation outside of it. Because of her dance and my curiosity, I decide to stay longer at this party. 

I examine her face while she is dancing: She hasn’t changed much. Twelve years ago, she was twenty-four years old, now she is thirty-six. Her skin is still very pale and tight, but I notice that her face is heavily powdered. She is very slender. When she stands there wearing this golden dress, she looks like a gold vase, and her face is the white gardenia—Which is in her full bloom. After years of dancing, each of her movements and poses are just right, no more or less; even when she stops, you can feel that the air around her stops as well, and is holding its breath—As if it has to be very careful to avoid bothering this glamorous lady.

Twelve years ago, she was a legend in the capital city. She had a lot of pursuers, from young men in their twenties to  elder ones in their seventies. But her followers shared one thing in common—they were rich and important figures. I had been to her place two or three times, and each time the carts were piled up in front of her door. And the craziest thing I heard was this: A super rich merchant offered to pay her one hundred thousand silver coins, if only she could dance for him for one night! But she refused. She was too proud and willful, just like every young pretty girl. They knew what they had, they were spoiled, they were blinded by their own beauty—they didn’t foresee that very soon their youth would go; and the value of what they learnt wouldn’t increase along with their age, but would decrease dramatically.

One hundred thousand silver coins! Most probably all my life I won’t make such a sum! She didn’t need to do anything but dance for him; perhaps he would ask for something more, but Yunying was an experienced dancer; she had managed many situations like that, just that time the price was too crazy. She wasn’t a girl who didn’t love to play around, rumor had it that she had several secret lovers. Later according to Yunying’s explanation, she didn’t take that merchant’s offer just because he was uncouth, not her cup of tea.

Perhaps that’s why she agreed to see me and my friends, even though none of us were rich. She spent most of her days dealing with those rich and significant people, and the rest were for her friends. Yes, she called me and my friends “My dear friends.” Her dear friends just needed to arrange some simple wine and pay the tips for her cart driver, then she would go to their parties. They danced, sang together; and sometimes they wrote poems for Yunying. People also said that she was smart: She made friends with these young talented men before their rise, which cost her nothing but helped her to earn a social grace and upgrade her class. No matter whether it was her real purpose or not, a pretty lady dancer and a bunch of anonymous but intelligent young men always would be the best gossip to entertain people’s leisure time.

But right now, Yunying is here, in this gaudy party, surrounded by these uncouth people—at least they are no better than that rich merchant she turned down; surely tonight the host won’t pay her one hundred thousand silver coins. Plus the fact that this town is just one of thousands of unknown towns, far away from where she used to live. The guests are staring at her the way wolves would stare at a baby lamb: their mouths are wide open, their eyes are shining, they are impatient and full of desires. 

I overhear one guest sitting by my side ask another one, “The dancer is pretty. Does she accept personal service, such as serve the client with drinking?” Another guest lowers his voice, “Yes, I believe so. If you are interested, you can ask her later in person. I guess fifty silver coins to drink up one bottle of wine; of course you have to pay more for some extra service.” “Fifty silver coins? That’s not dear. But she is from the capital city, will she accept?” “Why not? The host told me yesterday that he hired a dancer for tonight who costs him twenty-five silver coins. Drinking is a special request for her, so I double priced. And she isn’t that young, she is over thirty.” The first one said, “I see. I will offer her forty silver coins—I don’t want to pay more for a woman of that age.” He whispers something in his companion’s ear, then they both laugh.

I sigh. They are the guests that Yunying has to face! Instead of enjoying and appreciating her dance, they care more about the dancer’s face and age. Is it true that her price has dropped so much? I can’t believe that. Yes, she isn’t young, but she is still pretty, and it is hard to tell her real age just from her appearance. Besides, her dance is marvelous compared to other younger dancers. Why did she come here and accept this kind of offer? What has happened to her?

Yunying gives a big leap from one end of the table to the other, and lands gracefully and firmly; then she bends backward while raising her right leg; she keeps lowering her body, supports her hands on the table, all of a sudden, she springs herself up and makes a beautiful flip. She stands elegantly, using her fingertips to smooth the pleats of her dress, like a swan combing her feathers. The music is over--the swan swims away.

The host and guests applaud excitedly. A few guests, including the one who sits next to me, encircle her at the other side of the table, talking about something. “Perhaps he is making his offer now,” I think. I get up, pace out of the room and stand at the veranda. It is a beautiful night, the crescent moon hanging still like a silver hook, and a few white clouds lingering in the dark blue sky; a shooting star sails across the night. Then I smell some kind of scent drawing closer to me: It isn’t the jasmine from the garden. I turn my head back and see Yunying walking toward me. 

She offers her hand to me, speaking charmingly: “Luo, I never expected to meet you here tonight.” I smile at her: “Me too. What a surprise. Have you been here long?” Yunying shakes her head, “No, I just came here the day before yesterday. I plan to stay here for a month or two.” ”You alone?” I ask her. I feel improper to ask this question, but it is too late to withdraw it. “Yes, of course.” Yunying looks at me with her laughing eyes, it seems that my question didn’t annoy her. “I am not married. I left the capital city three years ago. I was out of time there. People prefer much younger girls nowadays, they don’t care much about the real dancing. But I have to survive, and I thought it would be easier for me to find work in some smaller cities or towns. At least I was away from the capital city.” I reply: “But, I still remember you told us that one day you would marry a man who has both money and decency, and we thought you had quite a lot of choices at that time.” Yunying puts her hands on the rack and smiles faintly. “Yes, I did, and there were a lot of rich men who said they would marry me. But none of them showed their hearts to me. To them, I was just one of their pets. It is much easier to get a million silver coins than a man’s true love. Since I left the capital city, I have travelled many places, and I have found none. Therefore, I am still single.”

“But you can’t find your man in a party like this, you know what sort of people they are.” I continue my question. “Yes, I know your point. But I need to feed my belly first. I made some money before, however, I also wasted a lot. While I finally realized the age problem, my clients had decreased a lot. It was funny that when I held my pride and treated my clients badly, they scrambled to spend money on me; but once I served them more seriously, they left me. My income couldn’t support my expenses, I had to use my savings and sell my things. Dignity is hard to build but easy to fall. I don’t care very much about that now; it is not my choice anymore to select my customers. I only want to make a little money. I hope I can retire after another five years, then I will settle down a small town and teach young girls dance.” Yunying reaches out her hand and picks one branch of jasmine. “This is my last wish now. Perhaps every woman is like the jasmine: When you bud on the tree, you don’t know what will happen and you embrace a big future; But when you open your flowers and find this world disappointing, then your dream gets more practical. A bud can never understand what’s in a flower’s mind; and a flower always regrets her years as a bud. I have accepted everything in my life, and I appreciate it.”

I feel impressed by her words. I try to look into her eyes, but she has downcast her eyelids, and asks, “Now, tell me how about you. You must be a significant man now.” I smile bitterly: “Are you serious? You can’t tell from my clothes? I am the most poorly dressed man in this party.” Yunying winks at me: “You can’t judge a book by its cover. I know you, you are one of the most talented men I ever met. So I still remember you vividly after so many years.” “Hahaha,” I burst out laughing. “Please don’t kid me. I am worse than you—At least you can make your own money and find your position, but I, I am still anonymous and even can’t find a stable position to survive.” A suspicious look arises on Yunying’s face. “I don’t believe that. Even if you are unlucky to work for a nobleman from the royal family, at least there should be a lot of opportunities for you to hold an important position in some provincial facilities. I read a lot of your writings when I was in the capital city, people consider you a talent.” The laugh has been dismissed from my face. I look up gazing at the sky, then take a long breath out. “I don’t know how people think about me, but I do know that I have tried very hard. I have served three lords, but all didn’t end well—I was not the sort of person they were looking for, and they were not mine either. Similar to you—you said that you couldn’t find a man’s true heart; Well, neither could I. I don’t know when, where and how to find a proper place for me. Time flies, it is a pity to waste my youth and intelligence.” Yunying sighs. She looks up at the sky as well, then speaks slowly: “Perhaps, we are all unlucky. So, what’s your plan? Will you continue? Or give up?” 

I pick up one jasmine too, but mine is a bud. “Yes, perhaps it is a matter of luck; or perhaps we overestimate ourselves.” I stop for a while. I stare at the bud, then I hear myself recite a poem:

“Since last time we met it has been twelve years,

and tonight, I re-see your gorgeous dance.

You are still unmarried, and I am anonymous,

perhaps we are not as great as we suppose.”

Yunying doesn’t speak. She gazes at the jasmine tree beneath our feet. A light sheen of mist rises over the garden. Her eyes are clear, with the moisture of the mist in them, as clear as the distant winter stars. But what surprises me is that her face shows no change of emotion—She looks as kind and sympathetic as a Goddess, who is listening to someone else’s story. 

I proceed: “I left my hometown twenty years ago. I swore to myself that I wouldn’t return until I gained my recognition. I have no choice but to continue. You know, man and woman, you and I are different: I think your choice is a good one. You have experienced a prosperity that most of the dancers can’t; you didn’t fail yourself because it is everyone’s destiny to lose their youth, with which unfortunately your skill has to be bonded. Then, after the struggles, you stand on your own feet humbly and practically. But to me, the more I see, the more I experience, the more I think and the more I write will add more value to myself. There is no limitation by my age. On this point, I am luckier than you. Even though there’s nobody to appreciate me yet, I can’t lower myself. Like you, I am prepared; I accept everything that has appeared or will appear in my life; I will continue to ride on my horse and search every corner in this world for my fulfillment. I believe I will find it somewhere.”

I look up at Yunying’s face and meet her eyes. There are sparkles in her eyes, like the birds flying over a pond using the tips of their wings to touch the water. The water ripples, an agreeable smile rises on her face. “Thanks for sharing this with me. I seldom have the chance to talk with people like this. In some way, we are very similar. We appreciate and pity each other; we let our roots grow like wild weeds. Nobody can stop us. Yes, I do believe you will find your dream.”

“Yunying, I am leaving now. Come along!” Someone calls. Yunying nods her head at that person, then turns to me. “I have a guest tonight, I have to leave now. It is a great pleasure to see you!” Yunying holds my hands, “Good luck to you, and good luck to myself!” She walks away, as graceful as a swan.

                                                                                                                                     10/04/2020"