Scarring Jasmine-Chapter Twenty Five Mud

08/31/2024 Saturday 66-83F Partly Cloudy

The white jade long pin from Zhao and the pearl earrings bought by Yu were laying in front of Jasmine. They were her last jewelry, one of which she must pawn to buy rice for her family. 

Jasmine thought for a while, then wrapped the earrings in a handkerchief and tucked them under her pillow. She picked up the jade pin, hid it in her basket, and walked out.

She was figuring: This jade pin must have cost Zhao a great deal. Even though the pawn shop always tried to push down the price and pay her as little as possible, she should be able to get at least twenty silver coins. With these coins, if she was careful enough, her family’s food and her mother’s medicine would be secured for the following month. But about the coming rent, she entirely had no idea. Yu’s earrings were the last things she would pawn, she had a strange feeling that if she lost them, she would lose her memory of Yu.

“Perhaps mother will let me pawn that rosewood dining table to pay the rent; it takes too much space in the room anyway.” She thought. She understood that her mother hated to see their things being pawned; each piece was like the family’s child. But other than pawning, where else could they get money from to feed the family? And one day when everything was gone, what could they do? Jasmine planned that perhaps she could ask A Feng’s favor to recommend her to a household working as a maid, or that perhaps she even could find a job in the store since she had a high school education. But she was afraid to let her mother, who still pretended to be a lady, know these plans. “Maybe I should start to look for opportunities first. Once everything settles down, then I will tell her and see what her opinion is.”

Jasmine pawned the jade pin and received twenty-three coins. She was thrilled. She purchased rice, and some bok choy in the open-air market. When she passed a meat booth, the butcher called to her: “Young sister, come and buy some pork belly! See how fresh it is! I guarantee you that my price is the best!” Jasmine stopped. She remembered that she hadn’t bought meat for quite a while; the last time, when she purchased a chicken carcass, was about two weeks ago. Hence today she had a three-coin bonus, why not buy some pork and give her family a surprising meal? 

“May I know how much the pork belly is?” Jasmine asked the butcher. 

“Twenty-three coppers!” 

“And how much is the pig foot?” She noticed the pig feet laying on the board. Despite of their much smaller size, they still reminded her of the braised pig feet with sugar cane which her brother loved to eat in the past.

“Eight coppers each!” 

Jasmine figured: Three pig feet cost as much as one pound of pork belly. While with the pig feet she could make a nice braise; her mother, brother, and niece each could have a whole foot to eat, which sounded more exciting than three of them sharing a stir-fried pork belly dish. Therefore she requested: “Could you please pack three feet for me? I want the top three ones. Here is the money.” Jasmine handed the butcher one silver coin. 

“Ok, no problem!” The butcher quickly picked the pig feet onto a large dry lotus leaf, grabbed a big piece of pork fat and wrapped them altogether. “The fat is free, you can get a lot of lard after rendering it. Thanks for supporting my business, do come again!” 

Jasmine thanked him, then took the leaf parcel, her change, and headed for home. “He is so nice, just like a lot of others. They help you without expecting anything in return.” Jasmine thought excitedly, which motivated her to put three coppers in a beggar’s bowl. “Please share my happiness and the others’ kindness with me,” she prayed.

On the same side of the street, four bearers were carrying a blue jacquard palanquin and coming toward her. From each corner of the palanquin hung a big red tassel, which was waving rhythmically following the bearers’ footsteps. In recent years palanquin had become an out-of-date transportation tool, which usually couldn’t be seen on this noisy street during the daytime. Jasmine felt curious thus she slowed down and darted a glance at it. The curtain of the palanquin was drawn open by one man’s hand, on the middle finger of which he wore a large emerald ring. Someone sitting behind the curtain was looking out in her direction. Jasmine lowered her head and passed the palanquin hurriedly.

She didn’t know why her heart was beating so fast. She didn’t see that man’s face in that palanquin clearly, but for certain he was no more than a stranger to her. She sped up.

About half month later, a matchmaker brought in a new marriage proposal to Jasmine. “Master Qian, Maolin Qian, is a super-rich man, just like his surname (*Qian in Chinese means money). He has a lot of business all over the country, such as salt, railroad, and seaports. Gee, you don’t know how large his house is in Wuxi near Tai Lake.” Then the matchmaker lowered her voice, “People say that he is the richest man in Wuxi, but since he is very humble, no-one really knows how much money he has.” The matchmaker held out her ten fingers, “Only in Wuxi, he owns at least ten estates! And he has properties in Nanjing, Shanghai, and Beijing. But can you believe that? No matter where he goes, he takes palanquin only! Even though at his house, he has two cars purchased from Germany.”

Jasmine was hanging laundry in the yard; she didn’t intend to listen to the matchmaker and her mother’s conversation, but the word “palanquin” came into her ears unmistakably. “So he must be that palanquin man.” Jasmine thought, then turned into the kitchen with the empty washing basin.

While in the living room, the conversation went on: “It sounds great. What’s his age?” Shen asked. The matchmaker showed five fingers first, then another three. “Fifty-three? But my daughter is only twenty-four!” 

The matchmaker snorted with a sneer, “Fifty-three isn’t that old, and twenty-four also isn’t young. A man like him, can find a lot of much younger unmarried girls if he wants. He told me that it was kismet because that day he accidentally saw your daughter on the street, otherwise how could he know her? Don’t get angry, to be honest with you, your daughter isn’t a virgin; people say that she couldn’t bear children therefore the Wangs divorced her. Master Qian heard about this as well, he said that he already had two sons, so he didn’t care whether your daughter would have children with him or not.”

“Two sons? A man at his age must have been married. Does he have a wife?” 

“Certainly. His wife is about fifty, and he has a concubine whom he married sixteen years ago. Thereafter, he has never married any new one into his house. Yes, he is elder, but compared to those young men, the elder one always knows how to take tender care of his woman.”

Shen stood up, rubbing her hands, “My husband will never allow me to marry my daughter to a man whose age is like her own father’s; besides, she will be a concubine. That is a shame to the family.”

The matchmaker chuckled: “Master Qian knew you would say that. He offered twenty thousand silver coins as the betrothal gift. Frankly, you were a boss lady before; this kind of house isn’t proper for you to live in; and you don’t have a grandson. With these twenty thousand you can buy a much better house and get your son remarried. Where can you find another generous man like master Qian? Money talks. The vain reputation means nothing; it can neither feed you, nor pay for your rent. You ought to think for yourself and your son! Master Qian is so rich, the money slipping through his fingers can make you live like a landlord. Apples to apples: Either no grandson, or to marry your daughter as a concubine, which one is a bigger sin? You should feel lucky that you have a pretty daughter, or else how can you get to know master Qian? People who want to kiss his ass can be lined up for miles. If you miss this opportunity, you are a real fool!”

Shen hesitated, “I need to think about it. Can I give you the answer tomorrow or the day after tomorrow?” 

“Sure,” the matchmaker got on her feet, “no later than tomorrow evening, because the day after I must go to Wuxi to give master Qian the update. He isn’t a person who likes to wait long. And once you agree with this proposal, he would like to marry your daughter right away. He will be responsible for all the bridal clothes, jewelry; nothing is needed from your side. Isn’t it a great deal for you? The situation isn’t that complicated. Yes or no, think it through.”

The matchmaker walked into the yard, but purposely made her way to the kitchen where Jasmine was cooking the dinner. “I wondered what kind of girl could make master Qian be in such a hurry and give such a generous offer, now I understand.” The matchmaker peered through the kitchen window at Jasmine, clicking her tongue, “A man can always make more money, but a pretty face like this is rare to find! Pity that the marriage with Wang’s son couldn’t last long, otherwise they could be the most glamorous couple!” 

She shot another glance at the steaming pot on the stove, then left the window. Shen followed her to the door. “It is a waste for your daughter to eat vegetable congee and cook in the kitchen.” The matchmaker spoke to Shen, “Oops, I almost forgot to ask you about one more thing: It is rumored that your daughter was engaged to someone after her divorce, and that early last year she had disappeared for a while. Is it true?” 

Without thinking, Shen replied: “That man has died; my daughter isn’t obliged to anyone now. About her disappearance, there’s no such thing—She was ill and stayed at home for months.” 

That evening after telling Jasmine Qian’s offer, Shen asked, “So what do you think about this proposal?” 

“Mother, I prefer to wait for Zhao and break up with him in person first, then consider remarrying.” 

“Do not ever mention him to my face!” Shen shouted, “How many times I have told you that you should forget about him and that stupid wedding! He took advantage of you! You waste your youth to wait for him, who will wait for you? He told you that he would come back in five months, but now it has been more than one year! He is a liar! Don’t forget, he murdered your father and put us into this situation!” 

Mumei’s daughter, who was in the next room, was scared into crying by Shen’s sudden yell. Mumei limped in and begged: “Mother, don’t be angry. The neighbors will hear us. It wasn’t sister’s fault; I made blood brothers with Zhao first.” 

Mumei’s crippled leg irritated Shen. She slapped Jasmine across the face. “Look at your brother! He is a cripple, he lost everything! How can we survive in the future? If you only care about yourself, kill me and your brother first! Then nobody will burden you! That liar, he is dead, he deserves it!” 

Jasmine held her face; the side where her mother just slapped was burning with pain. It was her second slap--The first one came from Qiao, her former mother-in-law; and this one was given by her own mother. Instantly, she thought of her father: If he were alive, he wouldn’t have let her mother slap her face; if he were alive, he even wouldn’t have had this conversation with her because he would refuse Qian’s proposal in the first place! Her mother mentioned this to her, which implied that the mother had already made the decision, no matter whether she, Jasmine, would agree or not.

Father was the only one who would use all his strength, even his life, to protect her, care for her. He would tell her, “If you don’t want to marry him, you can rely on your father and live here as long as you wish; you should never consider yourself a burden to your family. While if you do want to marry him, you should make sure that this decision is from your heart, and you have no doubt about it.” But now he was dead, partially because of her! And her only brother Mumei looked so frustrated and dull, and was penniless, shouldn't she do something for him? If they all died, where could she go? 

She told her father at his grave that she would take care of the family, which shouldn’t just be an empty promise. A girl like her, what could she do to save her family from dying? And how much could she alone do? Now she had an opportunity that fell from Heaven, why did she hesitate? 

Zhao was a selfish over-promiser; he could risk everyone for his own sake; he let her and her family who trusted him sit in the shit caused by him to sink or to swim. Whether he came back or not, she no longer could accept him. So why not cut him off now and move forward? If this man Qian, like he said, would offer her family twenty thousand silver coins, then her mother and brother’s life would be secured: They didn’t need to pawn the furniture for food; they could buy a house so no rent would be asked; they could find a better doctor for her mother and send her niece to school; they could run a small shop for a living… Perhaps that was the best way she could compensate them! She must force back her tears, she mustn’t cry.

Jasmine knelt to her mother, spoke slowly: “Mother, I’m sorry that I made you angry. Please forgive me. I will marry Qian.”

Later, Jasmine sat in her dark room; from next door, she could hear her mother’s sound snores. Mumei tapped on her door gently, then walked in. 

“Brother, it is late, why haven’t you gone to bed?” Jasmine helped her brother sit on a stool while she was asking.

“I couldn’t fall asleep. I saw your light was on so I figured that you must be still up. Jasmine, as your elder brother, I think you should reconsider your decision. Father would never let you marry such a man and be a concubine. You know our mother; she is always too scared. So long as we are together, we will find a way to work everything out. I can’t accept the feeling that we trade you for money. No matter what our mother thinks, to me, all the misfortunes that happened last year weren’t your fault, not even Zhao’s. We shouldn’t mix the intention with the consequence. Perhaps we had been lucky for so many years, finally it was time for us to take some bad licks. Don’t feel guilty and sacrifice yourself for us! I never liked Gao; I am glad to be a free man again. Indeed, I am a cripple, but my brain isn’t damaged; sooner or later I will find a job. 

Jasmine, as father said, you always consider too much and are afraid to consider yourself. Life isn’t white or black, we can live in grey. Some mistakes can be fixed later; some cannot. If one day you want to marry someone, only marry for love.”

Jasmine’s cheeks were wet. Luckily the light was dim so Mumei couldn’t have seen them. She secretly wiped off the tear stains with her hand as she turned her head away: “Brother, I am so grateful to hear these words from you. They made me feel much more relieved and enhanced the meaning of my decision. You and mother are the ones whom I love most. Zhao isn’t the right man for me. I want a stable life, as well as the happiness for both you and mother. I am a divorced woman with a blemished reputation; perhaps Qian is meant to be the person to pull us out of the mud.”