El Condor Pasa

Are things really that bad? Willow questions herself once more in her mind, which she has done many times in the past two months since her last straw appeared. “I failed. I failed not only myself, but also Elmer, the only man I ever loved.” She feels a pang on her heart. But she mustn’t cry anymore, thus she looks up at the sky: It is cloudless, the blue color is so lovely just like Elmer’s eyes; and two eagles are flying around to patrol their territory. She thinks of her favorite song “El Condor Pasa” by Paul Simon:

“I’d rather be a sparrow than a snail,

Yes, I would,

If I could,

I surely would.

I’d rather be a hammer than a nail,

Yes, I would,

If I only could,

I surely would.

Away, I’d rather sail away,

Like a swan that’s here and gone.

A man gets tied up to the ground,

He gives the world its saddest sound,

Its saddest sound.

I’d rather be a forest than a street,

Yes, I would,

If I could,

I surely would.

I’d rather feel the earth beneath my feet,

Yes, I would,

If I only could,

I surely would.”

She remembers that day when she first heard this song, she was showering while Elmer was playing the music in the kitchen loudly—that was his habit. When the melody rose, and when the lyrics poured out, she couldn’t help but stop showering and standing there, still, letting her tears run down along her cheeks. Since then, it has been five years, however she still remembers that day vividly, that music-flooded room, that fragrant garden outside her bathroom window, that gorgeous smell of Elmer’s roasting beef—everything looked full of joy and vitality, yet she felt awfully sad.

The snail, the nail, the street are like her. Even though she tried many times to get rid of that role, she just couldn’t. She was born in a working class family. Her father was a factory worker and lived in that town all his life; her mother was a house wife who devoted herself to raise her two daughters. Her elder sister later married someone in a neighboring town; and Willow, herself, went to New York city, where she met Elmer.