The Portrait Of My Love

I saw you sitting on a grass mat, facing the window and reading a book. Your back was to me, and you didn’t notice my arrival.

It was a quiet and lonesome world, but you were in it; I was an outsider. The white window curtain was half drawn. You crossed your legs; one of your hands was holding the book, another one was resting on a small stool. Your hair was tied loosely behind and darkened in the shadow. Against the mild daylight that came through the window, I could see your arms and hands were glistening in this dark room—The glow of youth and health.

I fancied you as a chrysanthemum, aloof yet graceful. I could perceive your faint fragrance—which might come from the jasmine scent of your tresses, or perhaps the lavender smell of your white gown, allover printed with triangles. Those little triangles, like thorns on roses, were untouchable. I felt a pang in my heart. 

I was the man you chose. After many years’ of being together, I thought I still couldn’t understand you. You were a mystery to me. When you were thinking something, you looked as cold and deep as a far mountain; but when you were happy, you acted like a child. I always followed you, and I wasn’t sure if I had ever entered your heart.

To me, you forever looked like an illusion: When I reached out my hands, I couldn’t feel you. Just like at this moment: You were three feet away from me; you didn’t hear my footsteps; you didn’t sense my presence; you were soaking in your own world, a place I couldn’t get into—So near yet so far. 

I gave you my whole world; it might be something you didn’t want. I never thought that one day I could be a man like I am right now—having handed my heart to you and loving you so humbly. Even if I can’t have you all my life, but at least at this moment, you are mine. And the years we have spent together are my happiest memory, nobody can’t steal it from me. About the future? I am working hard on it for both of us, and I will give you the choices.

When a man like me fell in love with woman like you, it was the best thing that could have happened in my universe. You unveiled a wonderful world to me. I kept exploring and every day I could discover something special. You made me thoroughly understand what love means and how to love a person unconditionally. I consider myself as having become a much better man. If you thought that I couldn’t give you the happiness you wanted, I would let you fly. And I still would love you, cherish you, and continue the journey on my own.

                                                                                                                                          5/5/2020